NEW! Poly Absurdities Monthly
Just for Fun
What is Polyamory?
Polyamory for the Practical
This site extolls the virtues and advantages of being in a poly relationship,
I suppose to keep my ass from getting sued, I ought to point out
Kids, don't try this at home
Yeah, I know that sounds a little hypocritical, but hey, life ain't perfect and
I am actually dead serious.
You see, what with all these advantages, there are drawbacks.
You can lose your family.
I know, there are plenty that would say, "No great loss if my relatives cannot
accept me." And for them, it may be no big deal. Other people who are close
to their relatives, should keep this in mind.
You can lose your kids.
In Tennesee, a judge has ruled that a polyamorous marriage is by definition a
bad environment for children. He admitted no testimony from psychologists who
examined the child and found her healthy. Remember, in a family law case, a
rule according to personal taste unless there is a specific law against that
You can lose friends.
Granted, I question the value of a friendship that will not accept new spice,
but... It can and does happen.
You can lose your job.
While a company would have a hard time getting away with firing someone for
"sexual deviance", if a boss disapproves badly enough, another excuse can be
found to fire you.
You wind up either doing everything by committee or giving in to one person's
In a group marriage, there are more needs and desires to be considered. This
means that you simply can't "go your own way". (This is not meant to discuss
poly relationships in which people do not live together or consider themselves
married. That is another matter, entirely). Unless everyone is giving in to
one person -- a very unhealthy way to do things, there's a
of discussion going on.
You can lose your property.
Poly relationships do not have the automatic protections that a marriage does.
You want to protect your property, you have to draw up a contract yourself.
Go do it now.
Make a will, too.
You can lose your mate/s
It is not unheard of for a group marriage to fall apart, leaving one person
holding the bag (and/or the kids), or losing everything, including the kids. I
am sorry to say that I have heard more
horror stories than otherwise in group marriages. Guys, while you might be in
love and want to be together, do remember that this is dangerous as hell. Make
no mistake about it.
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If you're actually a member of a group marriage, you can join this list. Most
of us find it refreshing to be able to discuss poly issues with people who
"live the dream" as it were. You don't actually have to be a member of a poly
marriage to join, but most members are.