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Polyamory for the Practical

Why Swinging isn't really Polyamory

Thus Speaks Rytsar Aleksii Ivanovich Ekaterinegorodtsova , Duke of Ekaterinegorod :

I'll use an example from this very discussion group to illustrate my opinion...because this was a very powerful story to me, emotionally.

Your child falls and breaks his leg. It's many weeks in the healing. Finally, it heals, and then he's afraid to stand on it... When he finally gets up the gumption, and does...

1.) Where are your Partners? (Non LDR) Poly partners are likely to be present. Swinging partners are more likely to be at home.

2.) How significant is this event to your partners? Poly partners are likely to be happy to have been present to see "their" baby take his second set of "first steps", having missed it the first time around. Swinging partners are more likely to go, "oh, cool...congratulations, Paul.", and go on about their lives... To me, it's not a type of committment, it's not necessarily about sex.

To me, the distinction between swinging and polyamory is a depth of emotional involvement in each other's lives. Swinging partners, to me, would seem to have a greater emotional distance from their partners, and prefer to keep it that way, while Poly partners want to grow closer in their relationships with others, often until the lines of distinction between the "old" pair and the "new" pair are completely blurred to all outside determination - you hadda be there, or hafta ask, to tell who was with who originally.

If you're actually a member of a group marriage, you can join this list. Most of us find it refreshing to be able to discuss poly issues with people who "live the dream" as it were. You don't actually have to be a member of a poly marriage to join, but most members are.
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