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Polyamory for the Practical

True Love

The Goddess of Giggle Speaks:

It begins maybe about the time of puberty, maybe earlier. You get the sense that your waiting for something, or more closely, someone. You wait and you search. You date and you see the person in front of you and somehow, it's just not quite right. Until one day, you meet someone and it clicks. There is no longer the struggle that you've experienced with others. Everything flows with that person as though you've always known each other. And, for some people, it is the end of the waiting, the end of the search.

But, not for everyone. For some people, it is the end of a search. They've found a soul mate. Perhaps, they spend years with that person, cherishing and adoring them, sharing that whole heart love that seems to multiply over the years. Perhaps, they have children together and they love the children with their whole heart. But, all the while, that yearning and that waiting continues. They date some more. Often it doesn't work, until one day, they meet someone else, and it clicks again. They love and adore that person with the same intensity as the first. They love the first as unwaveringly as always. Sometimes, that new person fits right in with the family, sometimes not. Then, the search and the waiting stops for some, for others it goes on. This is polyamory in my eyes.

In today's culture there is a myth based on the first scenario that I just laid out. That "One True Love" myth that insists that there is only one true love for every person. For some, this is very much the case, but not for everyone. Yet, this is force fed to us from childhood in fairy tales, when the fair maid meets her Prince Charming. We are apparently so led by society and culture that to look beyond its boundaries frightens us so badly that we even fear those who are brave enough to do just that. Our species is so diverse that very rarely can a statement of this sort be made to encompass all of us. I see people who insist that they are monogamous who are truly not, and I see people who say that they are polyamorous who would seemingly be much happier if they were monogamous. So, the label is simply that, a label. What is in our hearts is known to only us. We are the only ones who know if that search and waiting has ended with that soul mate that we look at each morning.

Others might look at my life and say that I could not possibly be in love with both of my husbands. If I am not then perhaps I will never know what love is. But, what can I say about my feelings for both? I am happiest when I have time to spend with both. I am content to be in the arms of either, and even more so to be in the arms of both. Just sharing the mundane routine of every day life with them makes my heart sing. When I listen to my first husband sing, it sends me inside and outside myself at the same time. It brings out passions in me that I normally feel obliged to contain. When I watch my newest husband paint, I find myself holding my breath with anticipation of each stroke. I watch the glint in his eye as he sees the work take shape and I share the rush of ecstasy. I can not imagine my life without either one, and shudder at the thought. I have devoted my time and energy to being there for both of them for the rest of my life. If that is not love, then I don't think my heart could endure the rapture of true love.

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